Ricky Bobby, from “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby,” is not just a NASCAR hero but also a goldmine of humorous and memorable quotes. Known for his fearless driving and his fearless wit, Ricky’s sayings often blend the absurd with the profound, making him a beloved character in comedy. Here’s a collection of 50 quotes that capture the essence of Ricky Bobby’s philosophy on life, racing, and everything in between.
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Ricky Bobby Quotes on Winning and Competition
- “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”
- “I wanna go fast.”
- “I’m just a big hairy American winning machine, you know?”
- “This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.”
- “I’m the best there is, plain and simple.”
- “It’s the fastest who gets paid, and it’s the fastest who gets laid.”
- “Here’s the deal—I’m the best there is. Plain and simple.”
- “When you work on your car, you get speed. When you get speed, you win, period.”
- “Wow, I feel like I’m in Highlander.”
- “From now on, you’re the Magic Man and I’m El Diablo.”
- “I’m going to drive flat-out.”
- “I feel like a mongoose stalking its prey.”
- “When I wake up in the morning, I piss excellence.”
- “You gotta win to get love. Everyone knows that.”
- “I like to go fast and I like to win.”
Ricky Bobby Quotes on Life and Philosophy
- “I’m all jacked up on Mountain Dew!”
- “Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces newborn infant Jesus, don’t even know a word yet.”
- “I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.”
- “With all due respect, I didn’t realize you’d gotten experimental surgery to have your balls removed.”
- “America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed.”
- “Anarchy! Anarchy! I don’t know what it means, but I love it!”
- “Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! Help me Tom Cruise!”
- “I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt.”
- “I like to picture Jesus as a figure skater.”
- “I don’t know what to do with my hands.”
- “Please be 18.”
- “I’m embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it.”
- “I’d love to sign your baby!”
- “Where are you, Pepé Le Bitch?”
- “Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said, ‘I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.'”
Ricky Bobby Quotes on Relationships and Family
- “I’m gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!”
- “If we wanted two wussies, we would have named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman!”
- “You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I’m gonna punch you square in the face!”
- “I’m gonna come at you like a spider monkey!”
- “You can’t have two number ones, that’s eleven.”
- “I like to picture my Jesus wearing a tuxedo T-shirt because it says, like, I wanna be formal, but I’m here to party too.”
- “I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin’ lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I’m in the front row and I’m hammered drunk!”
- “Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my red-hot smokin’ wife, Carley.”
- “I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai.”
- “I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip’s war medals off the bridge.”
Ricky Bobby Quotes on Fear and Courage
- “I’m not sure what to do with my hands.”
- “I peed my pants.”
- “Don’t you stick that knife in your leg.”
- “Save me Tom Cruise!”
- “Yeah, well, Dick, here’s the deal: I’m the best there is.”
- “Are we about to get it on? Because I’m as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.”
- “I hope that both of you have sons… Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt.”
- “Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable.”
- “You sick sons of b*tches. I mean you walk in that door, on your two legs, all fat and cocky, and lookin’ at me in my chair. And you tell me it’s all in my head?”
- “I don’t know. How many more times are you gonna toss me the radio while I’m in the bathtub?”